Top 10 New Mommy Moments I Forgot About...

I know this is my second time with this motherhood thing and you would think that I would have remembered some of the hilarity that insures with having a new born. But, alas I had forgot most. So, I thought I might write a few down... 1. There will come a time when it may be entirely possible that you may forget to cover your boob post feeding and be walking around the house with your big old booby hangin' out! 2. The simple act of taking a shower will fill you with the same elation of winning a gold medal. This is how a gauge my day. If I bathed, my day was a success! 3. Newborn babies are psychopath magnets. This will occur in they most random of places and they will ALWAYS insist in touching your child! No, random person at Walmart, you may not hold my baby. You smell, (worse than me), I am pretty sure you are on some form of narcotic and I know you have not been vaccinated! Stay the hell away from me and my baby! 4. You will fall asleep in positions you never thought were possible! My husband walked in on me the other night sitting cross-legged, in the middle of our bed, chin to chest, asleep breastfeeding our baby. My neck hurts all the time now. 5. Hand mirrors are not your friend. Checking out the status of "down there" is NOT a good idea. I now call my vagina Frankinvagina. 6. Sex before 6 weeks post delivery is not a good idea. Enough said. 7. Ever wondered what it would feel like to be an amputee? Now you know. Everything you do will now be done one handed. You will also become ambidextrous! 8. While eating, you may accidentally drop some food on your baby that is in your arms. I do not eat hot food at the moment for this reason. 9. You may wind up with one breast as DD & the other as a B is you forget to switch sides. 10. There will come a moment when your baby will recognize your face and voice & smile and it will erase all memory of items 1-9.